www.issuekid.com

im wondering how this works when i attach a pic. this was taken earlier as Jason and I were walking back from coffee.

It’s been way too long since I’ve done anything with this and yet so much is flying around inside my head that needs to get out.

This will be short, but next wont be so far.

eyes closed and walking. scary? yup. necessary? dang skippy.

i know that lessons are learned and life happens for reasons, but time and time again it seems that the lessons are on repeat. “I thought i was done with that” guess not, so bring on round two!

OR

take some time to live in what i have been taught instead of this lame crap called emotions. trust before i step. does that even make sense? in my head it does, so whatever, just deal.

it boils down to this, im closing my eyes to focus on what i need to and not search out my own path.

ya dig?

-iVk

Ok, so i’m out in TN, right outside Nashville. first thing. I guess out here they really envy us on the western side, they call whatever city they are in what ever the first 3-4 letters then -Vegas hence where i got Nash-Vegas. Really odd if you ask me.

The people are out here are of course basiclly nicer, I have experenced that in several different ways, from the way neighbors interact, the service at resturants, even people waving as they are driving. i almost just wrote its not better, just different, but today i experienced something that made me erase that line becuase in ways it is better.

On sat a GREAT friend of mine, Joshua, who i had not seen in far too long drove over from NC to hang out with us for a few days, we all go way back. Well on Sunday we were on the porch chatting before he took off for the 5(6) hour drive home, time zones can be a killer. Well, we were talking when we heard a noise across the street, look over and the guy who had been playing with his two 3 year old twins was having a seizure in his garage. We run over and call 911 and of course they show up with sirens blaring and they whole nine. Of course, just like in cali, the neighbors come out as they all decide it’s the perfect time to walk the dog or check the mail. Typical, i thought in the back of my mind as this dude is having a serious problem and poeple just want ot rubber neck. then something strange happened, a few didn’t just stand on the edge of the grass or in the street, they came up the drive way and into the group of medics and starting chatting with the guy. they had his wifes number, guess they are having issues and she is staying at her moms, knew about his kids and had genuine concern for their neighbor. I kind of know my neigbors, but its almost weird to intereact, and I had to force the inital contact, everyone just stiks to themelves and the things they know, and i know so many poeple dont. itis truly a forced thing in Cali.

Well with the fire dept there and the medics there, Angie and one fo the fire gys were calming the girls down, the wife drives up. How scary is that, to drive up to your house and see an ambulance and fire truck, needless to say, she was stunned. She had the girls and the dad went to the hosp.

…later that night…

as we were playing cards a knock on the door at like 930, Angies and Calebs crazy dog starts barking up a storm like usual. anyways, it was dude, he came over to say thanks for helping him out ealier. Caleb and i go on the porch to chat with him and talk about life and what not, guess his wife dropped him off at the house and took off, well we ask to pray over him and begin to, and then he has another seizure, yup after getting out of the hosp and them giving him meds and stuff he has another one. Have to call 911 again, they come out, same crew as before, GREAT people there too. Serously nice people, one gave me a hard time about my hair, but in great humor, so much respect for them. Think about it, such a blessing he was over our place when he had it or he would have been home alone when he had the other one, BAD NEWS!!! anyways, neighbors come over again, and again genuine concern. The medics said he couldnt stay alone and asked what he thought he could do, immediatly one neighbor said its fine if he stayed over at their place, they had a couch bed and would love to have him if he needed it. come on, really? That in cali? YEAH RIGHT!!!! people for one, would not even know the guy probably, second, wouldnt go up to talk with him, third be more worried about him sueing them if somehting happened.

what the heck? i mean, in no way am i even considereing moving out here, which has been brought up a few times. but that was a reminder of things lost. maybe we can bring them back, geninue concern for those around us.

truth never changes though our circumstances might

OK SO YEAH, SO FAR. STILL HATE BIRTHDAYS

A place I love but so out of place.

A great friend just shared this with me and it hit so close to where I am in life right now….

The best way I’ve heard it explained is that you have to dismantle the person that you have built up around who you really are. Pull it off and give it up piece by piece.

the worst thing to ask for is the one thing i need………her patience

-ik

Shouldn’t it be day by day we grow stronger and away from our issues? I wonder who remembers that song. Well I feel most days I’m growing deeper into problems and more away from peace. Oh how I wish I had peace. How I long for peace. I wish I knew the switch to turn things on and off to turn off my issues. I wish I had the strength and knowledge of how to let things go, how to move on. How to live in the now before I screw it up too much by not being able to let go of the past. I love my present, I cherish these new things in my life.

-IK

So yeah, I realized something.  I really need to be more focused.  There are some pretty cool things I can do, and I get all upset when I am stuck doing things the last minute, but it’s all really my fault.  I need ot be more focused and more diligent.  Like Brian May said, if I’m going to do it, do it with all I am.  I really have not been doing that, I really should.  I really really need to let my slacker ways go.