About to leave

January 8th, 2007

Who says money is everything. I have been loving life so much lately with my new job. Has really been putting a stretch on the old checkbook, but in the faith aspect it’s making me realize so much more and just to trust. One of the most amazing things as of late is Canaan, wow, the Lord has used that girl so much in my life. She has helped me to see so much more into my life, well I guess not more, but different. I am blessed to have her in my life and I hope she knows it.

Kinda funny, I don’t think anyone actually reads this, maybe one day someone will and know my random thoughts.

pax,
-kid

Just Another Day….right?

January 8th, 2007

So what is it about? How can I be so secure and not afraid when everything seems to be changing so drastically and so quickly? I think it can only be one thing, and for that I am thankful.

Time

September 7th, 2006

Time

As I sit here, examining the needle disappearing into my vein, I can see it make my skin bulge. Doesn’t feel to bad I guess. I then trace it out of my flesh and watch as the blood flows through the tube then into the machine and finally watch as the bag expands.

It’s said I’m giving life, but as it flows I feel sadness fill it’s place inside me. It makes me think of the time I have lost, what I have continued to put off, and it makes me so sad. I’m not here with a needle sticking out of my arm from just the goodness of my heart, surprisingly enough even though I have many piercings and tattoos I am not the biggest fan of needles. I’m here for a man that I hold in the highest regards. A man so wise and so strong, a man with such faith and love. But at the same time a man so weak and frail. Lord, this man you have allowed to speak into my life, for me to have as an example, to watch him live and love. Lord, Pres is such a blessing to so many, and it’s so sad that myself and so many others know so little about him. I have had glimpses of what You have made him, how he has grown and answered the challenges in his life. I have wanted for so long to sit and listen to his stories, to get his wisdom, to hear his life, to feel his faith. But I have put it off, and now I sit in this chair, blood flowing as Pres is days away from heart surgery. Lord, please allow everything to go smooth, I cry inside please!!! There is still so much that I need to learn from him, that others can learn. I pray for strength, Lord help me to stop putting off what you have called me to. It’s beeped and I’m done. I love him and I love You so much.

-kid

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Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld.

safe

August 17th, 2006

a girl i have as a friend on myspace posted this question in a blog. it made me think. here is the question and my responce. let me know your thoughts, and what you answer would be.


the question

i am working on a writing project.. and could really use your help with this. what makes you feel safe? what brings you protection? it could be being held in someone’s arms, it could be your teddy bear. unfortunately..it could even be something like partying. anything.. leave a comment if you would.. or if you would rather send a message.that would be great too… thank you!


my responce

being in a place thats “home” even if it’s not your home. when it’s the people that live there that make it safe to be “home”, a place that you know you can be you. you can let your guard down from the world. if your tired you can go there for rest, if you are scared you can go there for protection, if you are upset you can go there for peace, and you know if your hungry you can go there for food, but most important, when you are “home” not only do get love, you feel it. thats what makes me feel safe. im so blessed to have a place like that.

-kid

dark

August 14th, 2006

stay focused, the times are dark and its so easy to lose your way.

time

July 31st, 2006

time goes by so fast, there is always something to do, someone to see, somewhere to be.  time is always full, but i look back and it seems like nothing has gotten done.  im spinning my wheeels, going a million miles a mintue and getting nowhere.  the times i move are when i invest my time in things that are lasting, in peoples lives, into things that make a difference.  i am so blessed with those oportunities.  i am so thankful to have people i can pour my life into.  i am blessed for my friends and family, may i truly keep them a priority in my life.  thankful for the chances i have to make a difference in this world.  and that is my goal, to change this world.  what are you doing with your time? what is your dash going to represent?

-ik

grace

July 30th, 2006

so much going on in my head right now and i have no clue where to begin, it seems as though they are all just random thoughts and none are complete, all just random bits and pieces.  this past week was full of so many different things, so many people, so many walks of life, so many struggles, so much life, and thankfully, so much grace.

it is amazing to see how even the hardest of hearts can be broken, i mean hard hard hearts, hearts so used to pain and anger that thats what they thought they were supposed to feel. no joy, no love, and no peace.  but a moment of their guards being let down and amazing things can happen.  hardness can and will be broken.  not by a person or a place, but only by the Lord. a chance to move on those hearts is all that is needed, a moment to give life to death, a moment  to give light to darkness, to give peace to war.  and how much joy that peace can give, now a different war begins, one we cannot see but one we know is so real, one i pray these kids are ready for.  Lord give them strength for they will need it, Lord we all need it.  i am not above this war, i fall all the time, but then i am so thankful for grace.  let grace abound, let respect for Your grace abound, may we aproach it with a humble confidace.  but always to that alone, for that alone is what we need, Your grace for we may get lost on our journey but we are still Yours and You wait for our return with open arms.

lost

July 21st, 2006

how often do we lose our way?  get turned around and find ourselves, what we think is, completly lost?  maybe we find ourselves crying on our knees, feeling hopeless. maybe its laying down, beaten to a bloody pulp feeling so defeated.  maybe its just standing there, stopped, thinking, “how did i get here?”, and feeling so alone.   the path is narrow, but our feet like to travel wide, our will and pride like to take us on these journies that can lead us a hairsbreath off the path or miles off course and leave us almost unnoticably changed or in a state as discribed above. but the thing is, and its so amazing, its almost crazy to think about, as in a way it does not make any sense.  our redemtion, our peace, our comfort, our healing, our everything is right there.  but we must take it, it wont be forced on us, but is freely given.  its there to resuce us, He is there to resuce us, never gone, never away, always with us, every step we take away along the journey.  so yeah, if you find yourself listed above or in some other way off, turn to look, Hes right there waiting to be what you need and so much more than you serch for on your on.

Blog thingy

July 12th, 2006

Well, here goes. I actually plan on using this, so lets hope I do!

brn